I'm willing to share small tidbits of me. Who I am. What I experience. Why I do what I do. Just ramdom thoughts from me. Enjoy!
Who?
Name::Random me From::California, United States
I am a wife and mother of two boys. I work full-time in the electronics industry. It took me 6 years to graduate college (no, I'm not embarrassed-I finished, Dammit!) SJSU class of 1990. I love to cook, because I love good food. I'll pass on sweets, but will eat something with garlic or onion in a minute. I HATE cheese, except Mozzerella on pizza-and that has to be combination pizza. I hate chick flicks, but love a good thriller. My husband and I are real estate investors on the side. View my complete profile
You know that sinking feeling you have when your car breaks down on the interstate or turnpike... in the middle of nowhere, like say, YeeHaw Junction, Florida... and the nearest exit is no less than 11 miles either behind or ahead of you? (dont laugh, this happened to me)
...Or that feeling of arriving to the airport for the only flight out they have for a quick 4 day trip to Costa Rica and realizing you left your passport at home... over an hour away?
...or that feeling you get when you go to, oh let's say, a ummmm... cock fight for the first time, at like, 3am and the cops raid the joint and you dont "belong" but everyone else does?
...or that out of control feeling you have when a drunken, unreasonable friend or relative wakes you up at 4 am with some of the weirdest shit? You cant reason with them. They dont make any sense. They're falling all over the place. They spit when they talk. ..and they just "love you, maaaaannnn!" They frustrate you. You just wanna go back to sleep. You could care less if they sleep on the train tracks...
You knowwww!! That "life sucks and I have absolutely no way of making it 'un-suck' for the moment". That life-sucking force, that helplessness that makes you say in your mind "I am so screwed and there's no where for me to go"?
Ok, so combine alllllllllll that and realize that's how spending time with Aunt Frankie feels. Seriously, you feel minutes of your life ticking away - and at the time, you are realizing (even saying to yourself) "these are moments that I can never get back" when you are with her - even if it's a day when you would have otherwise been at home with absolutely nothing to do and bored out of your damn mind.
She's already been kicked out of one care home for being "demanding, unreasonable and condescending". She's really testing the patience of the second home she's in. I would not be surprised if at some point in the next 30-60 days, they ask us to pack her shit and get her the hell out of there. She went through 7 or 8 (I lost count) in home care-givers in my first year of helping care for her. She's quite ridiculous!
I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing that the "life sucking force" is not as strong as it used to be. I remember it as a kid when my parents made us spend weekends with her. (WTF was wrong with them? UGH) My brother and I would make up songs when she left us in the car in the parking lot at the horse races. I cant remember all the words, but one of them started: I want my Daddy.. I want him so badly... I want my Mommy.. So she can feed me...
Pitiful, huh? Today, after being forced to spend so much time in "Frankie-dom" my parents now realize they were wrong to make us spend any time with her when we were growing up. They had no idea of the level of "ridiculousity"