I'm willing to share small tidbits of me. Who I am. What I experience. Why I do what I do. Just ramdom thoughts from me. Enjoy!
Who?
Name::Random me From::California, United States
I am a wife and mother of two boys. I work full-time in the electronics industry. It took me 6 years to graduate college (no, I'm not embarrassed-I finished, Dammit!) SJSU class of 1990. I love to cook, because I love good food. I'll pass on sweets, but will eat something with garlic or onion in a minute. I HATE cheese, except Mozzerella on pizza-and that has to be combination pizza. I hate chick flicks, but love a good thriller. My husband and I are real estate investors on the side. View my complete profile
I went to see Uncle Cleo today during lunch. His breathing was very shallow and labored. He was cold to the touch and all of his swelling had gone down. (He had retained a lot of fluids as his organs shut down) and the swelling started to decrease over the last 24 hours. I was there for almost 2 hours.
With every breath that he reached for, I thought it was his last. I didnt want to leave his side. But finally I had to go.
When I left work this evening at a little after 5PM this evening, I called to check on him. Aunt Frankie wasnt clear on whether he had passed or not. I swear, she so strange. Not just now, but always... I had to call the nurse back to confirm he had passed at 10 after 5 - about the time I called.
It's odd, I've known Cleo almost my entire life and I dont know anything about him. As far as I can tell, he's never hurt of offended anyone. Just super mellow. Oh wait! He loved baseball! I remember going to their house when I was little, when he was her "live-in" patient (before they were married) and he was always in the garage listening to baseball games on the radio. That's all I know. I never even asked. I'm sure as we prepare for the services, I'll learn quite a bit about this extremely quiet man.
So, it's on to a new phase of caring for my aging great aunt who is now on her own.. Heaven help me!
Posted by Random me ::
6:57 PM ::
1 comments
My mother and I went to see my uncle Cleo today. My father went earlier in the morning. Cleo has 24 hour nursing care now. Finally! Cleo was significantly different today than he was on Friday. He's struggling to speak and grasping at his air and his sheets. He seemed to calm down when we put the football game on.
Man, his expression is so sad.. it breaks my heart.
When we arrived my great aunt had the Kirby salesman cleaning her carpet for FREE. She made it very clear to the young man she wasnt buying a Kirby vacuum cleaner, (because she's CHEAP) but the shampoo was free, so she had her carpets cleaned...right there in her living room while her husband lays there dying in his hospital bed in the living room. ::insert eyeroll here:: That bugged me! I mean, can the man have some peace?!
This whole situation is utterly ridiculous. Just when I think she's reached the heighth of "ridiculous-ness", she get "ridiculouser".. I realize that is not a even word, but it sooooo applies.
Unfortunately, my mother and I cut our visit short, well if you call 1 hour short. My great aunt starts babbling on about yet another person trying to rip her off and my mother just cant stomach it. I've learned to just nod my head and not comment. No one is trying to steal from her and no, her neighbors are not breaking into her garage to wash and dry their clothes on her dime.
If I havent made it clear, my great aunt thinks every person she encounters is going to steal from her. She keeps her money rolled up in a handkerchief pinned to the inside of her too big bra. What is that all about?
I'll make another visit to Cleo tomorrow afternoon. It's amazing how attached I've gotten to him in these past few months. He's actually gotten used to me being around and seems to look forward to my visits.
Posted by Random me ::
10:11 PM ::
1 comments
I spoke to my Aunt Frankie today. Uncle Cleo slipped off the bed today. No major injuries, but his brother couldnt lift him, so they called 911 and he was taken to Kaiser for observation, and sent home. The doctor said his vital organs have shut down and he only has a couple of days left... one, maybe two. Cleo prefers to die in the comfort of home. Heh.. that house is the antithesis of comfort, but it's his, or shall I say "her" home. My father and I will visit tomorrow.
Man, it's so hard to watch people die. This is the second in 6 months. In this case, my uncle has at least verbalized that he is ready and can not wait...Bless you Cleo.
Posted by Random me ::
10:25 PM ::
0 comments
Today, I went to my great aunt and uncle's house to just spend some time. My great uncle has always been very, very quiet. There is something mentally different with him, I dont know what it is specifically and I've never asked, but as far back as I can remember, he's always been this way. He's always been just very quiet. When I first knew him when I was very little, she was his care-giver, then in 1980 out of the blue, she married him. As an adult, I now understand she was motivated by money..makes me sick.
He is dying of lung cancer. He was diagnosed last March and he's 77, has smoked for over 60 years and along with his doctor has decided not to treat ths disease. Quality of life over quantity of life, blah blah blah....He wouldnt have fared this well with chemo. Well he's finally stopped smoking. He smoked up until 2-3 weeks ago. I've even purchased cigarettes for him. It wasnt going to give him MORE cancer.
Today was particularly sad. I helped him up to go to the bathroom, got him back to his bed, placed several blankets on him..Everytime I put one on, he'd ask for another and another and another. His liver is shutting down and his belly, legs and feet are swollen and he's icy cold.
I was going to step out of the room and he looked at me with his sad eyes and said "I'm going to die soon, huh?" Seriously, how does one respond? His name is Cleo, I stopped an looked at him and said "Aww, Cleo you make me sad when you say that. Is that how you feel?"
He responded through heavy pants, "I cant wait to just die."
I just asked him if he's been praying and if anyone from his church had been to see him. He said "yes". I told him I dont think dying is a bad thing. At some point, we all do it. He'll be whole again - no more pain, sickness, and whispered no more "yap yap yap"... indicating his wife's voice. He smiled and nodded. At this point, he's incapable of laughter, but he wanted to laugh.
Later in the day, he said he's proud of me for taking care of him. Those are the sweetest words I could hear from a man who rarely vocalizes anything. Those words made my day.
It's day by day...heck moment by moment. I keep my cell phone on 24 hours a day awaiting the call that help is needed or that he's gone. ugh..
Posted by Random me ::
11:53 PM ::
1 comments
My great aunt apparently only knows how to communicate in "bitch". I have never encountered anyone that only offers complaints. No gratitude, no compliments, no reminiscing, just complaining on and on and on. She hasnt even realized that she has no friends.
The second care-giver that has been hired for her in the past 6 months quit yesterday. Why? Cause she bitches too much! Seriously. The reason for resignation: "She's cheap and bitches entirely too damn much". This one only lasted about two months and then my aunt wanted to cheat the woman out of the money she owes her and both of them were BLOWIN my phone up trying to get ME to resolve it. Me?Oh hell no!
I was at work on my phone talking to my aunt, the former care-giver calls my cell and I decide, I really dont have time for this crap while I'm at work. I'm at my desk, two phones - one on each ear "ghetto-style" and I had to tell them both to shut up, I cant deal with THEIR mess while I'm at work and STOP calling my DAMN number!
Sadly, I can totally see where the care-giver is coming from. I wouldnt put up with my great aunt if I didnt have to. I really wouldnt. I dont know how much more I can take.
Posted by Random me ::
8:57 PM ::
4 comments