I'm willing to share small tidbits of me. Who I am. What I experience. Why I do what I do. Just ramdom thoughts from me. Enjoy!
Who?
Name::Random me From::California, United States
I am a wife and mother of two boys. I work full-time in the electronics industry. It took me 6 years to graduate college (no, I'm not embarrassed-I finished, Dammit!) SJSU class of 1990. I love to cook, because I love good food. I'll pass on sweets, but will eat something with garlic or onion in a minute. I HATE cheese, except Mozzerella on pizza-and that has to be combination pizza. I hate chick flicks, but love a good thriller. My husband and I are real estate investors on the side. View my complete profile
Today I visited my grandmother in the convalescent hospital. I see her slipping further into her illness. I don’t ever recall having her go through that stage where she calls everyone by someone else’s name. She just went from intermittent confusion to not being able to remember 30 seconds ago to ultimately not being able to form coherent sentences at an audible volume. She never eased into any of the stages; she dropped from one to the next as if she was falling off of a cliff. I had always imagined that her disease would make a slow progression. Not the case.
Today while sitting in her room, she was in her wheel chair, I was sitting on the foot of her bed and she was mumbling. I making small talk, inserting the names of family members that she sometimes uses herself in her ramblings, responding to her questions in a random “yes” or “no” fashion-as I have no idea what she’s saying. She was looking at or through me, I can never tell which and I could tell whatever was going through her mind was like viewing or experiencing torture for her. Her face changed and she started to speak through her remaining teeth. In a flash, she was angry. Then she quickly raised her fist as if she was going to slug me. I just grabbed her hands and calmly said “I’m your grand daughter” and she slumped back in her chair, as if a presence had left her body. Since I couldn’t make out her words, I had no idea what the source of her anger was. I wouldn’t put it past her to hit me. She’s hit my mother once before. She doesn’t even know who we are.
About a year ago, my mother called me at work and said someone from the hospital called earlier that morning and said Erma had hit one of her room mates. I was stunned. My mother asked me to go visit, because my mother had a cold that day and you can’t go to the hospital if you have any illness that the seniors can catch.
After work, I arrived at the hospital. I had forgotten about the incident of her hitting the room mate until I walked in her room. The woman in the middle bed who doesn’t even ever sit up had a bruise on her cheek, a black eye and deep scratches all over her face. I was shocked, stunned and pissed off. Why would she do this? Whose mother did she just beat up? Did the woman even defend herself? I know she didn’t provoke the attack. She doesn’t speak, feed herself, nothing. She just exists.
I left the room and went to the nurse’s station and asked the nurse what happened. How? Why? When? Did my grandmother do this? Really? Suddenly a huge smile appeared across the face of this nurse. I found it odd and it started to piss me off. Another nurse walked up and they both started laughing, under their breath at the situation. I asked them what was funny and they offered no explanation. The first nurse proceeded to tell me that one of the nurses that were on early in the morning walked in my grandmother’s room and found her hanging onto the railing on the side of the other woman’s bed. The nurse didn’t see my grandmother throwing any blows, but just found it odd, that a woman that hasn’t walked in over a year was up, out of her bed and nearly standing (actually holding herself on the bed railings.
Since they didn’t see my grandmother hit any one, they can’t say she did this. The whole time the nurse was telling me this story, she had a smile that she could not contain on her face. She thought it was funny. I asked her again, what is so funny and she said ”nothing”. I asked her what happens next, she said as far as my grandmother is concerned, nothing. They were unwilling to state that my grandmother had attacked someone. I asked, what this other woman’s family will think. I was told, she has no family that they are aware of. She just has a conservator, but never any visitors. My heart broke for this woman. Here she, just exists, no one to visit and she got beat down by my grandmother. It made me sick to my stomach. I was shocked that this type of event didn’t shake the staff. I was scared for what my grandmother may do in the future. I was still scared for what might happen to my grandmother. I was afraid for other patients. I was afraid that something like this could happen to my grandmother, and the staff might laugh it off as just another event in the convalescent hospital. The whole event makes me sick to reflect back on it and I continue to have a fear that it will happen again, and no one will care..
Posted by Random me ::
5:04 PM ::
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